faezrland, our fatherland under angels' feather. 天下主家。


bright afternoon on weekend(missing videos) by benzrad
April 20, 2008, 2:10 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized



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bright afternoon on weekend by benzrad
April 20, 2008, 1:54 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

its a bright afternoon. baby recently got a cold and pumph and a doctor even warn irregularsound in his heart. yesterday i was melt in sorrow and merciness. but today he still sonaughty and sound. he recently frequently demands cares with cries, which quite annoying,including his mother upset with his cries. i enjoyed the cyberspace presence very much. but after got wired the office pc, i sometimes on the contrast lose right mood to busy with theinternet, instead, felt boring into doze and tears, resulting frequent doze in the moring.however, when i was full of energy, i enjoyed the web as usual and always be agile onposting and comment on web.
this afternoon was too bright to miss. ema busy with tutoring and earning all day while idozed all the morning and sat in front of pc all afternoon. so ema suggested bringing baby outside before dusk. i didn’t went outside with baby since i was sent to my hometown for ailment in the same month of last year. we visited the place around our home, the southern sports yard and south park. the scenery was the same except some folks refused to nod me formy illness. its almost half and a year after my brought my baby haunting the places in jungle of losing thoughts in the turbulent moment before i felt into asylum at my hometownin Hubei Prov. central China.
i love the game of being mad, and being recovered. i see God’s call in it. i love my babyand my peaceful life so far. no matter what a thunder ahead, i see and under God’s shine.

baby son on ride of his 3 years on earth



bright day, turning windy and pale sunshine after noon. by benzrad
April 18, 2008, 5:51 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

i still dozed a lot in office in the morning. last night ema told me she brought baby visited doctor, and was told likely baby’s heart has some problem. my direct response was it can’t be and i blamed her too fussy about baby’s health. she retorted its none of my business. then i launched to operate on pc and my broking heart love for my baby, esp. in the view of cherished his countable time on earth let me sorry. i visited him who playing with his mother and felt we couples love him the same. then i doubting if we should not treating baby liking he was short of something comparing with other kids in the world. and i felt enough of ema’s over-protect baby, just to show her tendering. i love baby strong and independent, cute and robust. i don’t like to see his demanding other’s companion, esp. his mother. but ema glad to drive him to ask for her cares. cares to his every cough with fussy padding, and every changes of body temperature with all kinds of medicines. too much fussy just to show her fragile cares. i would like to see baby silent and independent, enduring and sound.
this noon i returned home and found the grandma didn’t cook as usual. i waited awhile then buzzed ema. she was with baby in another hospital, likely brought baby into medical check. i then left to office. on the way she buzzed but i can’t listen clearly what she intends to do. after lunch in a nearby restaurant of the dorm i returned to office and buzzed her again and this time she had left baby in the kindergarten and returning to her working school. later when i writing this she buzzed me again and discuss the situation we faced.
i never believed my baby has any physical problem. he was just so perfect, so shiny under God’s glow. if any problem calling him, that’s from God’s. God, let me take ur way and show me the peace of life of my family. i endured and took vow of loving the world u builds.