faezrland, our fatherland under angels' feather. 天下主家。


life on watching, love brewing. by benzrad
August 27, 2009, 2:39 pm
Filed under: Uncategorized

these days baby played less games on pc, but watching more animation online, and tv show. he asked me to find more games takes the formula of quiz show. i tried but harvest less. 

yesterday baby insisted i watching a piece of animation, in which a robot of a little boy offered him a robot lover, for he had problem to attract real world girl friend. i sensed evils around troubled my baby with abnormal love or passions. i myself also troubled by hard core gays in office.God, my dearest dad, once shown me when i was a collegian what a normal same sex friend looks like, and this time is time for me to show my baby what's genius friendship differs from twist emotion. i told baby what's my view on gay and lesbian, what's love of God, which is the most selfless love and never expels the most pour love between lovers or spouse. ema attended aside but don't prevent my preach, but left earlier. i know its hard for human not to mess up when 2 same sex persons live closely attached, even like dad&son, for men lives to be the only and independent, but i trust God no problem not to blur his only Mightiest and most Sainted when i can do something aside baby son when he needs cares and attendance for his childhood. i trust God no problem that i can live with my baby as long as i need, and when the trinity asks.

its a bright afternoon now. yesterday the 2 gays facing&backing my desk conspired and operated behind me when i reading on my notebook, to hurt my neck. my neck since then painful till last night sleep heels. i again exhausted last night and even this morning i felt too sleepy to leave ema's house. i dozed till 10 pm to get up. the grandma came over and brought baby outside. baby these days more or less infected by evil spying eyes upon abnormal passionate or love, that resulted in my spending more time to heal baby's being stained and divined him again.

its really a nice moment now. i just installed new games got in the morning on our legend pc for baby uses, and updated our google picasa web album with new shots i made recently. dog in China surveillance blocked quite some google's service, like youtube, picasaweb, but they only let domestic access to my picasaweb album problematically, but don't intimidate me to try ways to update my account there. here is the proof.

Ok, my dearest girls, here i will retreat to silence again. my restless craving for u never cease or fade. hold me tighter, baby, not let time wash out our love. hold my love in real and walk toward our ever brighter grand gathering. we had a long time to live together, in one roof and one family.

God bless us. took it sincerely.

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…

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life meaningful under burden by benzrad
August 14, 2009, 11:46 am
Filed under: Uncategorized

nearly a month passed since my return. i had great time with my baby son, warren zhu, hope of China and God of universe. my office Internet connection was rid off and i had to stay idle when i was there. at home, the Internet within China mainland also fatally deteriorated, ip and keyword filtering failed most web proxies available in search result. life in China mainland just like in a riot, all things in temporary and transission. hope is all of Chinese in mainland hold full hearted, and enduring of time is a test between the dictation nowadays and perished common social lives. i definitely see the collapse of the dying China political and social architecture.

my life orbits again in a tight loop, between office and my baby's mother's home. i tried hard to live with silence in worktime in office, and admit it can be a beneficial habit, but i really enjoy cyberspace activities. common people, like most of my colleagues, can be dishonest and blacken eyed by the presure of authority's favor or dislike. one of them, namely, my monitor in my office, claimed its rightous that i can't use office Internet now that my home pc connected with Interent, while his pc and all other colleagues' computer all wired and reading novel or watching tv online all days is mainly his activities online. they regard they r superior than me, really cluelessly!

this week can be fruitful. in reading twitter stream after broke China surveillance, i got an idea from peer's id, that i should own an id IIDChina. first i think idchina is OK, but in the process of claiming i gradually chose IIDChina. i soon claimed it from google, where i can only got an alternative for namespace conflict. i tried to expand the name to twitter and facebook, which both deadly blocked within China mainland for months. China surveillance, with its most advanced technology and heaviest investments, now can be fatal to web traffic inland reaching freedom world. i tried lots of proxies, including risky ones, all failed. only with the help of friends abroad, i got my facabook id and twitter's in the title of IIDChina. customization unfinished for access to the sites via proxies severely compromised and lots of operation only led to errs or vain. i also wrote a wiki item on google knol but the next day it was flagged inappropriate and hide from public view. after checked from friends abroad, i assured its google banned it, not google china, which frequent under China authority's harass and had to adopt tighter filtering. now i just doubting if google read it and flagged unproper, or China surveillance reported it online frequently via onsite report function and led google's system automatic or semi-automitic earmarked on my knol.yesterday i designed it a unique logo when i felt flat in office, i like it very much, so does my baby son, who shares the title. God sees my way toward a better and righ world in the shine and shrine of Holy.

facebook, twitter, blogger, picasaweb, and yesterday i found yahoo profiles, these sites' been blocked in China mainland heavily troubled Chinese surfers, and again remind them how barren the China landscape of produce of voice or content. China dying in aridity since the fall of Ming Dynasty, and continued suffering sacrifice with the tasteless and tomb berthed dictator then and now.

Ok, its time for break. i know the coming gathering of my love, while the dark of China to been blow apart, shift and gone. i know my new marriage scheduled and my fiancee already in her wedding dress. yes, i received my God's notice, i received the omen in red. 

See and download the full gallery on posterous

Posted via email from benzyrnill, set to fly, like dragon fly…